SHOWCASING THE NEW TRIUMPH SPEED 400 AND SCRAMBLER 400X

After what felt like a century of suspense, Triumph's most poorly guarded secret has finally been revealed. Prepare to have your socks blown off by the magnificent Triumph 400 range! Feast your eyes on the Triumph Scrambler 400 X and the Speed 400, the dynamic duo set to conquer the world in 2024. Get ready to experience a level of excitement that will make your heart race faster than a cheetah on roller skates!

Anyone with a PhD in Triumphology should have no trouble distinguishing between the two. Ah, the Triumph Scrambler 400 X, the master of disguise! It's like the Scrambler 900 and 1200 had a secret love child and this little rebel inherited all the cool genes. And let's not forget about its sibling, the Speed 400, who clearly took fashion advice from the Speed Twin 900 and 1200. It's like they're all part of a stylish motorcycle family, passing down their good looks from one generation to the next. Ah, but here's the juicy gossip: both of these bad boys are like twins separated at birth! They rock the same chassis and a sassy 400 cc engine. It's like they're in a secret club together, but shh, don't tell anyone!

Triumph has teamed up with the mighty Indian manufacturer Bajaj to create their new 400 cc range. It's like Triumph's way of saying, "Hey, we're fancy and all, but we can also be affordable!" Triumph is keeping their pricing a secret, probably because they're afraid their bikes will be so outrageously expensive that people will start selling their kidneys just to afford them. But hey, at least they have the audacity to call them "competitively priced." I can't wait to see how much I'll have to sell my soul for one of those bad boys!

We expect them to go head to head with bikes like the KTM 390 Duke, Husqvarna Svartpilen 401, and BMW G 310 R, and maybe even challenge them to a dance-off.

Behold, the engine of legends! It's a magnificent, all-new 398 cc single-cylinder mill, equipped with the latest fuel injection technology and the power of liquid cooling. Prepare to be amazed as this beast roars to life! Oh boy, this bad boy has got it all! We're talking about a four-valve, DOHC head that's so fancy it could probably write a novel. And let's not forget about the weighted and balanced crankshaft, because who doesn't love a crankshaft that knows how to keep its cool? But wait, there's more! This baby also comes with a finger-follower valvetrain that's been coated with DLC (Diamond-Like Carbon) to reduce friction. It's like giving your engine a luxurious spa treatment, because even engines deserve a little pampering, don't you think? All this, and a six-speed gearbox to make you feel like a race car driver, even if you're just stuck in traffic.

-Triumph proudly dubs their engine the 'TR Series' because they believe it's as legendary as the mythical Triumph Trophy. It's like they're saying, "Hey, our engine is so amazing, it deserves a fancy name!" They're boasting about a power output of 40 PS [39.45 hp], which is enough to make even the snailiest of snails jealous. And hold on to your hats, because they're also flaunting a whopping 37.5 Nm of torque. That's more twists and turns than a rollercoaster ride! Well, well, well, looks like we've got ourselves a contender! This bad boy is playing in the same ballpark as the Husky and KTM, although it's just a teensy-weensy bit shy on horsepower. But hey, who needs all that power when you've got charm, right?

The fancy-schmancy new 400 range is packed with all the latest electronic doodads and gizmos. Alright, listen up folks, because this platform is like a ride-by-wire throttle on steroids! It's got more switches than a disco dance floor, with traction control that's so switchable, it'll make your head spin. And get this, the ABS is switchable too, but only on the Scrambler 400 X because it's extra fancy like that. Oh, and let's not forget about the torque-assist clutch, because who needs regular clutch assistance when you can have torque-assisted clutch awesomeness? Get ready to ride in style, my friends! Oh, you're in for a treat with this car! It's got lighting that's so LED, you'll feel like you're driving in a futuristic disco party. And guess what? It even comes with an immobiliser, so you can rest easy knowing that your car won't go on any unauthorised joyrides. But wait, there's more! The dash is a real show-off with its fancy analogue and LCD combo unit, making it the perfect blend of old-school charm and modern pzazz. Get ready to have a blast in this snazzy ride!

Let's be real here, the Triumph 400 motor may not be the most glamorous thing to look at. It's like a budget bike trying to dress up for a fancy party, bless its heart. But hey, it still brings a little bit of style to the table, even if it's at the lower end of the market. Gotta give it credit for trying! Well, well, well, look at Triumph and Bajaj, playing dress-up with their little bikes, trying to make them look all grown up and fancy. They sure know how to pack a lot into a small package, don't they? The cylinder head is like a fashionista with its fake cooling fins and a snazzy 'TR Series' badge. It's all about looking cool, even if it's not actually cooling anything. And let's not forget the contrasting black and brushed finishes, because even cylinder heads need to keep things classy, right?

Behold, the majestic Speed 400 and the daring Scrambler 400 X! These two magnificent beasts share a chassis, with just a few quirky differences to set them apart. It's like they're siblings, but one prefers mustard on their hot dogs while the other insists on ketchup. Ah, the drama! Introducing the latest frame design for Triumph - now with a fancy-schmancy bolt-on rear subframe and a swingarm made from cast aluminium, because who needs boring old frames when you can have a touch of pzazz? Ah, behold the majestic seat heights of these two magnificent beasts! The Speed, with its regal stature, sits at a modest 790 mm, while the Scrambler X, towering above all, reaches a lofty 835 mm. And let us not forget their weighty presence, with the Speed tipping the scales at a mere 170 kilos (or 375 lbs), and the Scrambler X, a true heavyweight champion, weighing in at a grand 179 kilos (or 395 lbs). Truly, these bikes are the epitome of grace and brawn!

The Triumph Speed 400 struts around town with its fancy 43 mm upside-down forks, rocking some stylish 17" wheels. With a road-orientated geometry and wheelbase, it's basically the James Bond of motorcycles, ready to take on any adventure with a suave swagger. The brakes are like a fancy fashion statement, with braided lines that are ready to strut their stuff. And let's not forget the radial calliper, gripping that 300 mm disc like it's trying to win a strongman competition. Talk about stopping power with style!

Triumph has decided to give the Scrambler 400 X a little extra "oomph" by stretching out its wheelbase and suspension. They even gave it a bigger front wheel, because apparently, size does matter. Watch out, world! With handlebars wider than a sumo wrestler's waistline, the Scrambler X is ready to conquer gravel roads like a ballerina on roller skates. Assisting it in fulfilling its wildest desert sledge dreams are a brake pedal that's big enough to stop a runaway camel, footpegs with the grip of a gecko on a hot sand dune, strategically relocated for the perfect standing stance and a front brake disc so massive it could double as a flying saucer for intergalactic joyrides.


Well, well, well, each model struts its stuff with a silencer design that's as unique as a unicorn wearing sunglasses. But hey, don't expect any high-mounted pipes for the Scrambler X - it's all about that low-slung exhaust system, keeping it classy and down to earth. No need for the Scrambler X to show off its pipes like a peacock on stilts! Ah, yes, the trim levels, the mystical creatures that determine the personality of each model. They're like the different flavours of ice cream, except instead of chocolate and vanilla, you have sporty and luxurious. It's like a fashion show for cars, where each trim struts its The Speed 400 struts around with its fancy bar-end mirrors, while the Scrambler 400 X sticks to the good ol' traditional mirrors like a true rebel.

Behold, the Scrambler X, the ultimate two-wheeled warrior! This bad boy comes equipped with a headlight grill to keep those pesky bugs from ruining your ride, hand guards to protect your delicate fingers from the treacherous winds, and a handlebar cross-bar because, well, who doesn't love a good cross-bar? But wait, there's more! The Scrambler X also boasts a two-piece seat, because one piece just wasn't enough to handle your glorious posterior, and a front fender that's so roomy, you could practically set up camp under there. Who needs a garage when you've got a front fender like that? So hop on the And yes—as is tradition, Triumph is unleashing a plethora of accessories for each bike. Because apparently, motorcycles need more bling than a Kardashian's wardrobe. So get ready to pimp your ride with all the unnecessary gadgets and gizmos that will make your bike look like a Transformer on steroids. Who needs practicality when you can have a bike that's decked out like a disco ball on wheels?

Oh boy, these bikes are like chameleons on wheels! They come in not one, not two, but three fancy colour schemes. Talk about options, am I right? And let me tell you, even though they're entry-level, they still manage to look spiffy. Who knew motorcycles could be so stylish? And even though we're still teetering on the fence about the overall aesthetic of Triumph's 400s, we can't help but admit that they look like they were assembled by a team of highly skilled, well-dressed squirrels. Oh boy, let me tell you about this fuel tank! It's like the Picasso of fuel tanks, absolutely on point. And don't even get me started on the tail end, it's got a kick that could rival a kangaroo. But the real star of the show is the rear fender arrangement, it's so tidy it puts Marie Kondo to shame.

So, the new Triumph Scrambler 400 X and Speed 400 may not be the trendiest bikes out there, but hey, who needs to be fashionable when you're zooming past everyone else on the road? If Triumph wants to lure in the cool kids with empty wallets, these two bikes might just tick off all the right boxes.


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